My Senseless, Deepest Fear

Sorry it has been so long since I've put anything on here. I have a lot of catching up to do with saving stuff on here that I have written lately. Oops...Hopefully I will get that done soon. Here is the most recent thing I have written though. 

My Senseless, Deepest Fear

I never want to break a heart.

It has been done to me several times

And it is not something I would wish on anyone.

 I could never gladly throw that dart.

Especially at you, the gentleman of the year.

You treat me so well.

I am undeserving, and imperfect

And I get scared.

Why can't I let myself fall into the safety of your deep, loving well?

I could sleep in your strong arms for eternity

And get lost  in those big blue eyes until nothing else matters.

But I am a scared, selfish girl

And something good still terrifies the thought of you and me.

You have that checklist of qualities that I have always searched for.

So why, when the list glistens in front of my eyes,

Do I want to run away and hide?

Running is easy, until I see that heartbreak through your eyes.

Why am I so selfish when you give your whole self to me?

So much trust, love, and happiness galore.

Yet I am scared to commit and admit you may be the one.

Breaking hearts does not come easily in my nature.

You've never done anything to deserve being broken.

You're so wonderful in countless measurements and ways.

I live every day in hopes that I will finally be ready;

Ready to hope that love can cure this: my deepest fear.

I don't deserve your love,

But I cannot lose you.