The Therapy of Blame and Fault

This one is put more into a lyrical format. Inspiration came from past relationships/crushes/recent feelings of abandonment. (Don't worry: I'm happy. :) Writing this stuff down is my type of therapy, haha. Plus when I write it down it probably sounds 100X worse than it actually is). I'm so glad I have writing to turn to when I have no where else to go. No one can seem to want to listen to me as much as a simple pen and paper does. Haha...Cheesy...I know. ;)

The Therapy of Blame and Fault

Why can't I see the way you do?

What's wrong with this mindset I am in?

I can't be the only one who cares.

All I ever seem to get are vacant stares.

When I looked up deep into your eyes

There was never any sense of a surprise.

Who made you throw out my beating heart?

I entrusted it to you from the start.

And now I feel so alone;
Cause it's over and done 

Never to be held again.

But I'm cursed to live on strong. 

I have to make good and glad,

All the things I still have

The same way I thought you did

When life with you was grand.

Did I do something wrong that hurt you too?

What made me deserve the curves you threw?

How can I forget the things you said

When you misunderstood the thoughts inside my head?

Did my actions make you question me?

Or did I just make it way too easy?

What can I do to take it back?

Take it back, right now...

And now I feel so alone;
Cause it's over and done 

Never to be held again.

But I'm cursed to live on strong. 

I have to make good and glad,

All the things I still have

The same way I thought you did

When life with you was grand.

Move on,

Stay strong,

And say: Life's better without you anyway. (x4)

And now I feel so alone;
Cause it's over and done 

Never to be held again.

But I'm cursed to live on strong. 

I have to make good and glad,

All the things I still have

The same way I thought you did

When life with you was grand.

What made me so repulsive to you?

Why can't I just move on past this fool?

How can it be so easy to move on,

When it's very hard to forget

That there were reasons I liked him too.

Nightmare

This is inspired by some pretty sad dreams I had the other night. The one that inspired most of my writing this time wasn't necessarily horrible...It just brought to surface a lot of emotion. Don't read into it too much, but interpret it however you want of course. Writing this has actually helped me to get over the emotions I have been feeling. I've been having a hard time falling to sleep because of all the nightmares I've been having, so I'm glad I can get this all off of my mind and onto paper. Or I guess the internet. :)
(p.s. I know this isn't written out perfectly. I was just getting it all off my chest). :)

Nightmare

Now with each glistening blink of my eyes

Night-time has been something I've grown to despise 

I didn't want to leave

And I didn't want to break his heart the way he did to me

I couldn't fight this battle without having to die

I found out the truth, and the truth was he lied

I knew my strengths were meant for a different mission

How could I be so hurt yet so calm about his decision?

Where was I finding the sense in my pain?

He wore carelessness in his actions but regret and love on his face

Which was the whole reason I was going insane

His anger was his way of saying "I was wrong"

And "I'm sorry that you had to wait for so long"

I wanted so badly to be able to hold him and say everything would end up being okay

But I couldn't tell him because I couldn't stay

If I gave him my full heart, it would throw our friendship away

The embrace of hope that he gave me that day was only being seen in one heart's sight

Because on the other side was a lost mind and some tears fighting to stay out of the moonlight

This nightmare has not found my dream-catchers door

I don't have the strength to sleep anymore

I didn't want to lose 

But no matter what I decided to choose

The only way for me to win 

Was to give the win to him.